Endearing Challenges

There are challenges that come about as a mother... and some of these challenges are absolutely difficult to even tread in water with. The strength of a mother is like a roller coaster sometimes. Well-at least for me it is.

Being strong is putting yourself out there. It is making choices you don't want to at times. It is sacrificing sleep, time, and much more to care for the ones you love dearly.

However, being strong is also being vulnerable and transparent and allowing your true emotions to show. It is being able to share your true, deep thoughts with those whom are closest to you. Being strong is allowing yourself to be broken in order to grow.

I am at a point in my life right now as a mother where I am down on my knees all too often. Stressed- that would be how I feel from time to time. I know that if I don't communicate these thoughts or feelings I will explode.

My most recent stressor would be putting my dearest sweet little Layla to bed. She may look so sincere and innocent to the sight but she is such a strong-willed, vocal and independent little girl. She wants every single thing done her way. A.J. and I are trying hard to be very consistent with her in how we put her to bed. She screams at the very top of her lungs while standing up continuously as we continuously put her down. We do this routine until she finally gives in. It is a long process that goes on for what seems like hours. When really it is just 30 min to an hour. Talk about waring on us. Wow.

That is when my strength, as a mother, feels diminished. Then I have to remember that my strength is not in my own abilities. It is in the Lord Jesus Christ. Talk about refreshing to know that He is here every single day. It is so easy to let my emotions get the very best of me. But I am realizing from day to day that I can grab a hold of those emotions and direct them forward- forward to the Lord. HE alone is in control.

That alone is hard for me since I am naturally a pretty controlling person. I want to be stronger. I want to be one who can be calm in all situations. But somehow, I let my frustrations get the best of me at times. That's when I know my strength is being controlled by me alone. I need and want to turn that strength over to my Maker, to my Father!

Thank you Jesus for being my strength. I love you Jesus.